Page 19 - Copshaholm Curriculum Book_2015

Male and Female Etiquette 3

whatsoever can justify any man in not being civil to every woman; and the
greatest man would justly be reckoned a brute if he were not civil to the meanest
woman. It is due to their sex, and is the only protection they have against the
superior strength of ours; not, even a little is allowable with women; and a man
may, without weakness, tell a woman she is either handsomer or wiser than she
is.
$ When entering a crowded streetcar, a lady should leave the door open. It is quite
permissible for her to appropriate the seat of the man who gets up close to it.
$ A gentleman will assist a lady over a bad crossing, or from an omnibus or
carriage, without waiting for the formality of an introduction. When the service is
performed, he will raise his hat, bow and pass on.

Greeting or Saying Hello to Others
$ To a casual acquaintance you may bow without speaking; but to those with

whom you are well acquainted greater cordiality is due. A bow should always be
returned; even to an enemy it is courtesy to return his recognition.
$ Between gentlemen, an inclination of the head, a gesture of the hand, or a mere
touching of the hat is sufficient; but in bowing to a lady, the hat must be lifted
from the head.
$ In meeting a lady, it is optional with her whether she shall pause to speak. If the
gentleman has anything to say to her, he should not stop her, but turn around
and walk in her company until he has said what he has to say, when he may
leave her with a bow and a lift of the hat.

Calling (Visitation) and Calling Cards
$ ACalling@ was a somewhat ritualized version of the fine old American custom of

Avisiting.@ It was not nearly so important for the gentleman as it was for the lady.
It generally fell upon the middle class lady to do what had to be done to hold
Asociety@ together. Even if the gentleman was doing the calling, it was generally
the lady who was receiving callers. Ladies did not call on gentlemen except on
matters of business. Gentleman called on one another with little ceremony.
$ A gentleman, when making a formal call, should retain his hat and gloves in his
hands on entering the room. The hat should not be laid upon the table or stand,
unless it is found necessary from some cause to set it down. In that case, place
it upon the floor. An umbrella should be left in the hall. In an informal call, the
hat, gloves, overcoat and cane may be left in the hall.

$ Visiting cards, or calling cards, were an essential accessory to any 19th Century
middle class lady or gentleman. They served as tangible evidence of meeting
social obligations, as well as a streamlined letter of introduction. They also
served as an aid to memories that were no stronger than they are today. The
stack of cards in the card tray in the hall was a handy catalog of exactly who had
called and who=s calls might need to be returned. They did smack of
pretentiousness however, and were not generally used among country folk or
working class Americans. Business cards on the other hand, were widespread